I have two cousins that are my age (that I claim… long story), anyway I have been best friends with one of them since forever, but within the last few years we have fallen apart… he literally lives 14 seconds away, and only 3 doors separated us for years, but now its like the wall of China is plopped downs between us, so now matter how close we physically got, we were mentally miles apart.
Its bugged me because I still wanted to be kids and play my childish games, naming the stars, building forts and watching the Never Ending Story numerous times in a row. But he grew up and got popular and started driving and going to parties, being the person I desperately wanted to be… and somehow I didn’t fit into his little club. We never went to the same school, and I wish we had, at school I was a totally different person, not putting on a show for our parents… I could be the person I was when we just hung out- the person that was worth while to hang out with… but it didn’t workout that way…
Anyways, he came over today out of the blue and we just kida hung out. We sat in his car and just talked-oh and smoked some weird Indian weed. It wasn’t actually peer pressure, and he even said that, but when he offered me some, I didn’t refuse, and I think its because I am so done letting him be the cool bad boy in the family… I can smoke too you know I can drink and party… why should he get all the fun while I sit at home all the time… I’m done with it.
Supposedly he is bringing a bag of weed to me tomorrow, I don’t think he will but I hope he does… at the same time though I cant help but mention that if he doesn’t, I won’t smoke a joint like ever and if he does… I’m going to get high. What would you do? He has me convinced that we are one in the same. Drug down and miserable because of our families and bored and lonely. But when you smoke you are so happy and you feel good all the time, if that’s true then bring it on, I want to feel happy, really happy.
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